WIN_20250112_14_40_11_Pro: 0:01

This is Alcohol Freedom Finders. In this episode, we talk to Amanda Foster from Zero Fierce, a digital marketing expert who's also a fellow This Naked Mind alcohol freedom coach, like Justine and myself. As you'll hear, Amanda is also an expert in grief and has written a fantastic book called Spirits and Sorrow that brilliantly and autobiographically takes our culture's understandable instinct to numb grief with alcohol and compares it to the alternative of facing grief alcohol free and processing the pain and sorrow instead of trying to forget that it's there. Amanda has tried both approaches and is very clear on which one works best. She's so sweet and bubbly, you'd think she'd led a charmed life, untouched by any kind of hardship. But that couldn't be further from the truth. I can't wait for you all to meet this gentle warrior.

Justine Clark: 0:52

Hello everybody. I have the greatest pleasure today introducing Amanda Foster, who is a certified This Naked Mind coach, a friend of mine in Barry's. And also she is an author, which is super exciting. We're going to talk about that too. Hi Amanda. How are you? I'm great. Hmm.

Barry Condon: 1:13

Oh, it's great to see you, Amanda. Yeah. I mean, we saw each other in the summer and since then your books come out, which is, which is amazing. I knew a bit about the story. it's, it's an incredible book. so I'm dying for you to take us back there, it's a book, if I can sort of say in, in my words that it's an autobiography, but it's also a book that will help people who, who've been through similar journeys, of grief and loss and sorrow. and we'll hopefully sort of show them how you dealt with it to begin with and how you've learned, a new way of dealing with things. so yeah, tell me, tell us in your own words, you know, what brought you to, write the book and how would you sum it up?

Justine Clark: 3:02

I mean, that's such a huge story in itself, Amanda. I think so many people are going to resonate with that. But the loss and the suffering that you've gone through, tell us about how you managed to bring yourself out of, or maybe a little bit about how it got started. How did you know it started to get really bad? When did you know this has to change?

Barry Condon: 6:04

Were you or when did you become aware that it was the grief was related to the drinking or the drinking was related to the grief. Was it something you were immediately aware or this is I'm drinking now to, to, to deal with it? with the signs of, of, of, of how it was or wasn't helping.

Justine Clark: 7:31

Yeah, I totally understand that and I think that many people who are using alcohol to help deal with tricky situations will be enjoying the numbing sensation. What I have found the most surprising is that we, we don't like to acknowledge that alcohol then takes over the rest of our lives and there's like a Jekyll and Hyde kind of scenario where it's not just the numbing thing, it's the whole of our life is either trying to deal with. The aftereffects, the anxiety, the hangover and the grief, which is exacerbated by, withdrawal. and that actually, how did you find a way to go, hang on a minute, this is alcohol. This alcohol is not helping me. It's taking over.

Barry Condon: 9:51

Yeah, that's so true. That's so true. And I think, yeah, that, that's the, the, one of the things that I never appreciated. and, and you don't until, until you, go through the process of, of stopping, or at least going, going, a period without drinking. And think it also takes a little bit of work to, to, to delve into why you're doing it and realize that it's not serving you that you can, Sort of relax your grip, around it and, see it with less importance and then you can sort of start to appreciate other things, you know, because you are looking better, you are feeling better. but if you keep sort of, pining back for it, then you don't appreciate the sort of physical, improvements. but yeah, when you look back and you see, Oh my gosh. You know, it's like throwing a grenade into, into your, your brain chemistry

10:43

If you're looking to take back control of your drinking, why don't you join our Alcohol Freedom Finders 30 day group program. It's a great place to start. Because we approach it as an experiment, rather than a challenge. Whereas, as well as getting a great detox, you learn the science and the psychology about why you're drunk in the first place. So whether you want to stop altogether, or just become a more mindful and moderate drinker, why don't you give it a crack? Use the link in the show notes to sign up to our next 30 day program, and you won't regret it. Because no one ever woke up in the morning and said, I wish I'd had more to drink last night, did they? Back to the episode.

Barry Condon: 11:24

so what would you, now, like to say to people who, find themselves in a situation where they're, drinking, away their sorrows, and dealing with pain and grief by using alcohol, because that seems to be only tool available. what have you learned through your, your experience, as an alternative way to, to approach things?

Justine Clark: 14:29

So what I'm hearing you saying there, Amanda, is that you've gone through some terribly painful times. Losing your father, young, losing your 12 year old son, I mean, and then to lose your best friend and brother, and to experience those things It's tough enough in itself, but what would you say the key difference, between grief with alcohol and grief without alcohol is? Yeah,

Barry Condon: 17:16

That's amazing. And I think that idea of the peaks and troughs and feeling, you know, the ups and downs really important. But it's, but it's really scary. And we, you know, that the pain going towards the pain is the opposite of, of, you know, what feels natural. and I remember from your book where you said, you know, you didn't even allow yourself to cry or not consciously. Didn't stop yourself from crying, but, but you just thought I've got to be strong. And that's kind of that, you know, you even, you know, you numbed the parts of the day when you weren't drinking, it was just, know, to keep it all on one level thing where you sort of felt as if you were in control, but actually, you know, you weren't dealing with any of it.

Justine Clark: 18:17

for sure. I, I lost, my mum this year as well, Amanda, as you know, and I think you've been so helpful in that process for me, just allowing myself to, Go sort of lean in. One of the tactics we use in the course itself is, lean into the feeling. So actually, whether it's anger or sadness or resentment or whatever the feelings you're feeling, none of those feelings are wrong. And as you say, we're so much more present in our feelings when we are not using alcohol. So being able to almost like ride that wave of whatever feeling comes. And, I mean, you speak to that in your book, and I'm sure, you're living that in your life now. I know that you've had lots of other adventures, since becoming alcohol free. Why don't you talk to us about what you've been doing since you, first came across this naked mind?

Barry Condon: 21:01

That's brilliant. Yeah. I, I love your, your social media. you're really good at poking fun at the, at the marketing. big alcohol, is always a, always a big target of yoUrs., Amanda, the thing that we like to ask everybody at the end of, our sessions is to, for them to tell us what the three words are that sum up, uh, journey to and finding alcohol freedom.

Justine Clark: 22:01

that's perfect. And I think that's the real signature phrase from this naked mind and where it kind of leaps away from other methodologies to to understand the science behind why alcohol creates a Venus fly trap for us all and actually You know, it isn't our fault. We, we all like to taste the honey. but once we realized that the honey is actually a poison, it becomes slowly less appealing over time. And I'm just so grateful that you, you, you're around Amanda. You're a bubble of joy. You're a pleasure to be with from the very beginning of meeting you in the course, you have been a light and a treasure full of laughter, and full of so much love, even though you were going through that time at a terrible time in your life. So I've got so much love and gratitude for what you're doing and your book is going to help so many people and we're really grateful to have you with us today and sharing your story. We've only scratched the surface, Amanda.

Barry Condon: 23:02

Yeah, I know. It's amazing. Thanks so much, Amanda. Now tell everybody where they can find you, and, and what sort of, services you're offering.

Justine Clark: 23:46

Hold it up, Amanda. Show us, show us.

Barry Condon: 23:54

Brilliant. Thanks so much.